i think almost everyone has engaged with some form of zombie-themed media before. Hordes of the undead are somehow raised, and they can multiply by simply biting the living. the thing about zombies is that most of the fear around them stems less from their strength (which would depend on the zombie in particular, and would still be less than that of when the person was alive) and more from their ability to spread their numbers via infection- sure, vampires and werewolves can do the same, but they have other reasons to be feared such as strength and stealth. while theres already far less reason to fear them than most of the other generic monsters associated with the horror genre, youll soon learn in this ramble that even the reason itself is kind of an exaggeration.

so i mentioned vampires and werewolves in comparison to zombies earlier, and in order to continue this take, i'm gonna have to do it again. most media in which a character becomes a vampire or werewolf don't showcase a dramatic change in personality or functioning- at most, theres some changes in appearance. the most notable change would be in diet: vampires become sanguivores, though they can still eat other things, and it cn be assumed that werewolves would add more meat in their diets. zombies are the only creature with the ability to transform other organisms into their species via biting that have a dramatic change in function and personality- and it might be linked to their diets.

assuming everyone reading this has engaged with some form of zombie-themed media, we've all probably seen the trope in which a character in the group gets bit, and either doesnt tell anyone or doesnt realize until the whole group is in an isolated bunker of sorts. but what a lot of people never seem to point out is that none of the characters who fall into that trope seem to show signs of being zombified up until that reveal happens. how does this relate to their diet? well, zombies are strict carnivals, and will eat any form of meat- but they're most known for eating brains. the reason i'm convinced that this diet is what causes their behavior is that eating brain matter can give you a priron condition.

for those not in the loop (and to be honest thats most likely a higher number than youd think), prions are protiens that are misfolded, and they can misfold other protiens in the body when coming in contact with them. over time, these prions travel through the bloodstream until they eventually reach and misfold proteins in the brain, causing small holes to form in the brain matter, giving the name "spongiform encephalopathy." at this point, symptoms such as cognitive decline, changes in personality and mood, lack of coordination, and unsteady walking. in layman's terms, i've seen it described as "a cellular level cheese touch."

those symptoms i listed sound pretty typical of zombies: they can barely speak, their personality and mood is wildly different than when they were human, and their walk is a slow stumble at best. the thing is, as soon as those symptoms start showing, youre looking at seven-to-nine months before getting your name written on a headstone, since there's a 100 percent chance youre gonna need one. however, since zombies cant actually die (or die twice, depending on origin), they keep existing with these symptoms until theyre too decayed to move. this means that the typical behavior seen in zombies only exists if they end up eating a brain, so they arent really all that scary, and all youd have to do for the recently bit is stick them on a farm until the brain cravings die down- and if youre already scared of getting a prion condition, you probably wont have to worry about eating a brain at all.

in conclusion, zombies arent actually all that terrifying. their behavior isnt a guarantee, its a result of an extremely dangerous diet. dont feed them brain matter, and they're basically salmon. i really do hope that this blog made you reconsider how scary you think zombies are... feel free to comment :)